Laura Simpson is Jennifer Lawrence’s self-proclaimed BFF.

The two met seven years ago at an event where they both didn’t know a single person and hit it off over a mutual respect for “Friends” character, Chandler Bing.

“We’ve been eating pizza together ever since,” says Simpson, who recently wrote a firsthand account of what it was like to attend the Oscars with her famous bestie.

But, as Simpson writes, going to the Academy Awards as a “nobody” isn’t as fun as one may think.

“Unless you are famous at the Oscars, you are completely invisible,” she says. “I have never experienced anything like it. The only time anyone talks to you is if you are in the way of his or her photo.”

Things got off to a rocky start.

“We finally arrive at the red carpet and as we exit the car, my date eats s— and uses my freshly done Lauren Conrad up do to break her fall. The crowd goes wild.” [Simpson is the one in the black dress who Lawrence tried to take down with her.]

After Simpson quickly learned to move out of the way, she headed to the bathroom, where “Jessica Biel holds the door open for me and compliments my dress” and “Margot Robbie from ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ shows me her Kardashian-sized diamond ring in line for the toilet.”

Soon, “the show begins and I am seated directly behind the camera’s crane, so unless people are to either side of center stage, I can’t see jack s—.”

Simpson explains, “They mount two maybe 32″ TVs on either side of the auditorium which are near impossible to see so basically everyone in the theater is just sitting in complete darkness during the categories.”

And not only can attendees not really see what’s going on, but they are also deprived food for the three-plus hours-long show.

Suddenly, says, Simpson, “you realize you are STARVING and haven’t had any food since breakfast at 9 a.m.”So naturally, most head to the bar to fuel up on liquid calories