It feels like something is happening to the climate? Almost like… it’s getting warmer? Or like… there might be a hole burning through an invisible layer in the sky?

I’m not sure, this isn’t National Geographic. This is the National Geographic of coats, bags and shoes! And so, I will trace the climatic runes on the items of clothing that celebrities dress their bodies in while appearing in public.

One glance at Jennifer Lawrence’s feet and it becomes clear that we’re entering a meteorologically confused autumn. Over the weekend, the actor wore a pair of fleece-surfaced beach slides (surely a contradiction in terms) while taking a stroll around New York. These are a departure from the artful “non-shoe” that Lawrence has spent the past couple of months in – even if they were purchased from The Row and cost £733.

Over in Miami, Dakota Johnson seemed to be acting as a psychic mirror to Lawrence: dressed in an outsized cashmere sweater and wide-legged teddy fleece trousers (all in beige) while lugging an enormous watermelon around. Because she likes the colour green, I presume. If I were a weather scientist, I would also be taking note of all this. After all, Meghan Markle, Cardi B and Angelina Jolie – in their 50 shades of biscuit, fawn and taupe – knew it was going to be autumn weeks ago.